Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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