I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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