i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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