If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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