she smelled like a LAN party
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize