i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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