I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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