I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
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I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I party with great urgency now.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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