took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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