Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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