Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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