omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize