Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im six kinds of drunk right now
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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