I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
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His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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