She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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