it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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