the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
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Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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