I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
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All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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