dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize