i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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