I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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