My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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