You smell like stripper and shame
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
