Im at strip club and am horny
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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