at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
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He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i think i just lost a toe
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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