Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
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I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
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I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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