Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize