you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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