Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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