I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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