it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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