hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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