Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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