Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize