i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize