Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize