Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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