Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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