hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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