Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sorry about my life...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize