just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I love having hate sex.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
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I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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