The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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