This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize