Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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