are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize