no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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