Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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