tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You were trust falling into bushes
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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