ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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