you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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