i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
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Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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